Wednesday, March 25, 2009
At The End Of The Day...
Two of the most important days of my life are the day I gave my life to Jesus Christ and the day I married Renee. However, the last day of both of these is the most important because that shows I fulfilled both covenants. This means that I have to invest in both these relationships everyday to be able to see it from the first day to the last. So in a culture that has an agenda against God and thinks nothing of having 2 to 3 tries at marriage…I am passionate about both God and my wife. I will fight for both till my last breath!
Friday, August 22, 2008
My Upmost Fear
There is a verse in a song that every time I hear it it shakes me to the core! And I end up thinking about it the rest of the day. The verse is...
"What if after all of this, my life should come up short in the final scales?
Should I wait for time to tell?"
If there is one thing I don't want to do it is to come up short! I don't want to die and leave a gaping hole in my kid’s lives. It scares me to think that I am helping mould them and shape them. Giving them a world view that will guide them for the rest of their lives. I know they will learn things along the way and come to some conclusions on their own...but it is the foundation I help lay that they will build on. I don't want them to come up short either with the things that I teach them. What am I teaching them about God? What am I teaching them about character? Am I teaching them how to be a friend by my own examples? What about compassion? Do I show them how to give out of need? What about living a Godly life and perusing the blessings of God and not his curses? Will I show them that sin separates you from God and we need to ask for forgiveness to reconcile with Him. Oh God, will I show them that sin is evil and not to take it lightly? Will they remember seeing me crack open The Bible and long to do the same? What am I teaching them? Will they get that we made financial sacrifices because we believed strongly that WE should raise them and mom stayed home to do so? Will they see that we tried to glorify God in everything we did...that we tried to pray over decisions and submit to Gods authority? And will they see that the reason we did all of this was because it was right?
I am so thankful for a wife who pushes me toward righteousness: a wife who supports me and is willing to go against the culture. I am nothing without her!!! She is the one who completes me...who is just as committed as I am...if not more!
I fear that life is just passing me by. That I am not doing enough in my life or my family's. I want my heart to break for my kids...to be jealous for the things of God for them. I want to leave a legacy that will expand the Kingdom of God (in their lives)long after I hear the words, "Well done thy good and faithful servant". Oh let me hear those words and not come up short!
"What if after all of this, my life should come up short in the final scales?
Should I wait for time to tell?"
If there is one thing I don't want to do it is to come up short! I don't want to die and leave a gaping hole in my kid’s lives. It scares me to think that I am helping mould them and shape them. Giving them a world view that will guide them for the rest of their lives. I know they will learn things along the way and come to some conclusions on their own...but it is the foundation I help lay that they will build on. I don't want them to come up short either with the things that I teach them. What am I teaching them about God? What am I teaching them about character? Am I teaching them how to be a friend by my own examples? What about compassion? Do I show them how to give out of need? What about living a Godly life and perusing the blessings of God and not his curses? Will I show them that sin separates you from God and we need to ask for forgiveness to reconcile with Him. Oh God, will I show them that sin is evil and not to take it lightly? Will they remember seeing me crack open The Bible and long to do the same? What am I teaching them? Will they get that we made financial sacrifices because we believed strongly that WE should raise them and mom stayed home to do so? Will they see that we tried to glorify God in everything we did...that we tried to pray over decisions and submit to Gods authority? And will they see that the reason we did all of this was because it was right?
I am so thankful for a wife who pushes me toward righteousness: a wife who supports me and is willing to go against the culture. I am nothing without her!!! She is the one who completes me...who is just as committed as I am...if not more!
I fear that life is just passing me by. That I am not doing enough in my life or my family's. I want my heart to break for my kids...to be jealous for the things of God for them. I want to leave a legacy that will expand the Kingdom of God (in their lives)long after I hear the words, "Well done thy good and faithful servant". Oh let me hear those words and not come up short!
Saturday, August 2, 2008
God Is Good!
It’s kind of funny how you forget something’s…Renee and I were talking before she left for her trip to MD. She made the reference that it had been a hard and stressful two years. I asked her what she was talking about with the statement that it had only been about a year since we decided to move Grandma in and start construction. She just looked at me and said, “Are you serious?” I had totally forgotten about me and the HELL we went though as a family!
It has been two years now since I woke up one morning to constant spasms in my neck that would literally force me to find comfort face down on the floor hugging a pillow. It slowly got worse with a new day bringing more challenges on how to lead a normal life. Renee took me to the ER two times because the pain and position the spasms would put me in made it difficult to breath. Because of some of the meds I was put on I would either sleep my life away or be up all night with suicidal thoughts. I could not function, let alone work, and the simplest task like giving my girls a bath became too much to bear. When I could stand it, time was spent on the internet trying to find out what this could be. At one point we thought it could be some sort of tumor on my spine putting pressure on my neck thus causing the spasms. But after a second option (after second option) by (many) Dr’s looking over my MRI’s that was ruled out.
At this point, we had no idea what was going on… so we pressed in, turning to the only comfort and strength we knew…GOD!
I seriously thought that I was dying a slow death! Each day now was more of a struggle then the day before. So out of desperation I convinced my family Dr. to give me a referral to the best Neuro / Movement Disorder Dr. in Michigan. I can’t recall his name, but it really sucks to go to one of the best Dr.’s around and have him look at you and say, “I have no idea why you are like this”. My (our) hope was crushed… another road that lead to nowhere. Another possible weight that could have been lifted now rests more heavy upon me. Why would I need a fear of drowning when breathing was taking everything I had! I could go on and on about the trials, the desperation, the heartache my family had. But now I would rather tell you why I think I forgot all about it…How could I forget…it was such a huge part of our life just a mere two years ago. Two years ago I was lying face down on the floor thinking I was dying…AND I FORGOT!?!
I have pondered that very thought the past weeks when I have been doing projects around the house. I would ask the question over and over in my mind and I could only come up with one answer…because GOD IS GOOD AND GRACIOUS! Yes, God is good…that is it…because God is Good! I am almost brought back to tears thinking of his goodness to me and our family. It’s not easy to write, it has taken a while to get here! I questioned where my blessings were, why I was being afflicted with pain and why this was happening when Renee and I have tried to do everything right. I could have easily failed. I could have easily given up. But one thing kept coming to mind... my kids were watching! How many others have been put to “the test” and failed? How many other ‘Christians” can write that God is good and truly believe it? How many of us still have the joy of salvation? My back was against the wall and it was time to believe in what I said I believed in. It was time to work out my salvation and I did not want to fail. Other people would have been affected by my decisions and eternal things were at stake. I always said that I wanted to glorify God in all that I did, but that is a little harder to say when storms arise. I had a lifetime of studying and learning the things of God but now I had to live it out. That was the hard part…living out what I truly believe. And I can say now with undeniable truth that that God is good. I have seen the face of Mercy, I have held the hand of comfort, and I have felt the loving touch of my Father. His goodness echo’s in my soul and I am the better man for walking through that time. For I have persevered though the night and found the promise of JOY in the morning. He has restored my thoughts and made something so tragic become a distant memory. It is because of His great mercy that I was able to withstand the fire. A fire that could have consumed me, instead…refined me!
So the reason I forgot was because it is no longer a tragic part of my life…it was a blessing!
It has been two years now since I woke up one morning to constant spasms in my neck that would literally force me to find comfort face down on the floor hugging a pillow. It slowly got worse with a new day bringing more challenges on how to lead a normal life. Renee took me to the ER two times because the pain and position the spasms would put me in made it difficult to breath. Because of some of the meds I was put on I would either sleep my life away or be up all night with suicidal thoughts. I could not function, let alone work, and the simplest task like giving my girls a bath became too much to bear. When I could stand it, time was spent on the internet trying to find out what this could be. At one point we thought it could be some sort of tumor on my spine putting pressure on my neck thus causing the spasms. But after a second option (after second option) by (many) Dr’s looking over my MRI’s that was ruled out.
At this point, we had no idea what was going on… so we pressed in, turning to the only comfort and strength we knew…GOD!
I seriously thought that I was dying a slow death! Each day now was more of a struggle then the day before. So out of desperation I convinced my family Dr. to give me a referral to the best Neuro / Movement Disorder Dr. in Michigan. I can’t recall his name, but it really sucks to go to one of the best Dr.’s around and have him look at you and say, “I have no idea why you are like this”. My (our) hope was crushed… another road that lead to nowhere. Another possible weight that could have been lifted now rests more heavy upon me. Why would I need a fear of drowning when breathing was taking everything I had! I could go on and on about the trials, the desperation, the heartache my family had. But now I would rather tell you why I think I forgot all about it…How could I forget…it was such a huge part of our life just a mere two years ago. Two years ago I was lying face down on the floor thinking I was dying…AND I FORGOT!?!
I have pondered that very thought the past weeks when I have been doing projects around the house. I would ask the question over and over in my mind and I could only come up with one answer…because GOD IS GOOD AND GRACIOUS! Yes, God is good…that is it…because God is Good! I am almost brought back to tears thinking of his goodness to me and our family. It’s not easy to write, it has taken a while to get here! I questioned where my blessings were, why I was being afflicted with pain and why this was happening when Renee and I have tried to do everything right. I could have easily failed. I could have easily given up. But one thing kept coming to mind... my kids were watching! How many others have been put to “the test” and failed? How many other ‘Christians” can write that God is good and truly believe it? How many of us still have the joy of salvation? My back was against the wall and it was time to believe in what I said I believed in. It was time to work out my salvation and I did not want to fail. Other people would have been affected by my decisions and eternal things were at stake. I always said that I wanted to glorify God in all that I did, but that is a little harder to say when storms arise. I had a lifetime of studying and learning the things of God but now I had to live it out. That was the hard part…living out what I truly believe. And I can say now with undeniable truth that that God is good. I have seen the face of Mercy, I have held the hand of comfort, and I have felt the loving touch of my Father. His goodness echo’s in my soul and I am the better man for walking through that time. For I have persevered though the night and found the promise of JOY in the morning. He has restored my thoughts and made something so tragic become a distant memory. It is because of His great mercy that I was able to withstand the fire. A fire that could have consumed me, instead…refined me!
So the reason I forgot was because it is no longer a tragic part of my life…it was a blessing!
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Update On How Weird I'm Getting...
Renee and I are pretty health conscience but the more I research what "they" are putting in our food the weirder "they" are forcing me to be...that's a great way of putting it...it's their fault I'm getting weird...who ever they are!
I (We) already made our family stop eating fast food, stopped drinking Pepsi and the such, and try to buy stuff without HFCS (high fructose corn syrup). I make my own bread when I can, and I buy eggs from a guy at work who makes his own feed and lets his chicken roam free. I even started eating more fruits and veggies! Weird!!! My next step is to buy RAW MILK from a local dairy to drink and make my own butter.
One of my favorite resources is Kelly The Kitchen Kop . Hope you enjoy the blog as much as I do. :)
Don't get me started on vaccines...just look at the comparison chart of CDC Mandatory Schedule 1983-2008...and we (our kids) are getting sicker!?!
I (We) already made our family stop eating fast food, stopped drinking Pepsi and the such, and try to buy stuff without HFCS (high fructose corn syrup). I make my own bread when I can, and I buy eggs from a guy at work who makes his own feed and lets his chicken roam free. I even started eating more fruits and veggies! Weird!!! My next step is to buy RAW MILK from a local dairy to drink and make my own butter.
One of my favorite resources is Kelly The Kitchen Kop . Hope you enjoy the blog as much as I do. :)
Don't get me started on vaccines...just look at the comparison chart of CDC Mandatory Schedule 1983-2008...and we (our kids) are getting sicker!?!
Friday, June 6, 2008
Nik Makes Us Look Good
Nik informed us (Renee and I) today that in that last 10 days he has read over 800 pages...let me repeat myself...in ten days over 800 pages!!! I guess this whole homeschooling thing might work out...or is working. Needless to say I am very proud of him. Would you like to know the secret to our great success with our kids? MY WIFE!!!
Sunday, June 1, 2008
I Could Hardly Imagine
I was reading through some of my favorite blogs today when my eye caught that person was praying for Steven Curtis Chapman. I did a quick google and found that his 5 year old daughter had passed away. In memory of Maria Sue Chapman (2003-2008)
My heart was immediately broken for the Chapman family. I could hardly imagine how great their loss is. I am moved to tears now just thinking how I would feel. For my 3 readers...If you haven't already, would you join me in praying for the Chapman family.
My heart was immediately broken for the Chapman family. I could hardly imagine how great their loss is. I am moved to tears now just thinking how I would feel. For my 3 readers...If you haven't already, would you join me in praying for the Chapman family.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
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